The feelings I feel the thoughts in my head are worse than the knife that severs. The heart that beats so hard that I cry for what seems like forever, my nerves are so shot that it makes me sick. trying to hide the way I am from the ones I love and afraid for them to know that I am Monophobic, I can't trust myself to be alone and I hate it. Confounded by what I think up and disgusted by this thought, dreaming about reality and showing you what I picture as if saying "look at what I brought". You see my heart in my fist beating with a somber tone, I see your eyes are full of tears taking in what I have shown. "I reach towards the sky, if only to ride a cloud, I could make the right decisions this time and I know I could make you proud" . So I envision a day when the sun will always shine, and when someone asks how I am I could be honest when I tell them I am fine. Until that day I understand the disgrace when I answer and lie directly to there face. For now I avoid the non fiction and focus on the false and I believe in the lie that I've painted on these walls, I touch up the imperfections and I support my indirection. Though I am sorry to take up your time I honestly couldn't resist, to share with you this thought on paper and question why I exist. I write down my ideas and try to fix myself, but after ripping up the paper I set them high upon my shelf. No one should ever see this sick and twisted list, it will stay in my library, just another positive thought dismissed.
"AK"
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