Give me something to go with, a sign that this will stop. I have been swallowed, i have been engulfed by a feeling that i am terrified by . My normal yet unconventional remedies are no longer doing the trick. smoking makes me nervous, drinking brings more weight to my shoulders and the feelings i feel are making me sick. My lifestyle i like to call the Black and Grey, seems more black and i fear its hear to stay. and i can feel my knees shaking and my heart breaking with each night fall and every passing day. the fabric of my being has cheapened and is now falling apart from this psychological fray, and although writing is my answer to almost everything this chapter of my life is not my forte. my mind is lost and its hopeless for me to search for it i deem. For every time i search for it i find something i am not looking for things that would make a dreamer not want to dream. thoughts that would make ice shiver, that would make even the fearless scream. So violent thoughts of strangling these feelings take over my thought process and i fall numb to my surroundings aside of the stabbing feeling as my psyche stabs back like i am a pin cushion, God help me. These plans that you have for every one are there and i believe that, but i am dying here at this cross roads with a hundred directions tearing me apart, God why can't i see? So I ask questions as if i want an answer but the conclusion of what i already know is what will ensue. Trust me when i say this is my self portrait and even i wish it wasn't true.
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